Monday, May 10, 2010

People who are potatoes should't fuck




Yes, I found a Green man costume, anyone who is a fan of the show "It's Aways Sunny in Philadelphia" will get a kick out of it, the rest of you probably think I am a weirdo, but that is your opinion. I think I pull it off rather well :p

For the record, as far as I know, no one likes making out with a rug... or fucking it. This applies to both sides so clean your shit up people, pretend like you care. This is directed at no one in particular, just the result of a discussion I had recently. Speaking of recent conversations, the weirdest thing happened to me the other weekend. I was at a cookout with a couple old military buddies, and I get a text. It was from my boss, and it said "What's up?" My boss isn't much for talking or shooting the shit, especially to me. This is also aside form the fact he whored me out to anther electrical company in December and I am still there because he has no work. He won't lay me off so I can just work for this other and much better company. I am a little freaked out by this text, so I call him to ask if he is ok, he informs me that he is, just waiting for his friend/date to decide where she wants to go for dinner and he wondered what I was up to. I told him, "hey dude, it's Friday. I'm cooking on a grill and drinking my face off, care to join?" He politely declined the offer... wuss. Although if I could bench 350 pounds at the age of 54, I probably wouldn't fuck it up by eating shitty food and binge drinking either.

The VA has upgraded me from seeing a behavioral social worker to seeing a full blown witch doctor (shrink). They want to dope the white kid up so he is nicer to people or some jive like that. We shall find out this Wednesday.

Now for the big news, this one is actually good. I was accepted for my major last week, I am officially a mechanical engineering student. I now have a purpose in school and maybe even in life, hopefully I don;t get bored with this after a few months or a year like I seem to do with everything else. Hope not, supposed to be an interesting job. Once I get my degree I may still go to law school, but I have a couple years to decide on that one. Now I have to learn a new campus and go through an orientation, that I am required to attend and just happens to cost 60 beans... fuckers. Fuck I need a beer.

As long as I am thinking about beer, my hangout bar, Broadway Joe's, is now offering free pancakes on Monday nights during karaoke, how weird is that? Pancakes and beer?! From the sounds of it, it seems to be going over quite well, though I am still skeptical. Have to check it out next month when I move a little closer to the place. I am moving at the end of the month into the city finally. Right next to the entrance of the school I just transferred out of, what a kick in the sack. The other school is about 10-15 away though, so not too bad still. Back to full time school in the fall, it may fuck things up with one or both of my bands, def one of them, but I told them about it and after some bitching, they realized I was serious and trying not to fuck them over. I finally realized I don't want to make 14 bucks an hour and work outside for the rest of my life. This degree will get me out of that and I am going to do it. It may keep me in this state for longer than I would like, but it is something I need to do. Would like to be able to afford my own place and have the cash to do some of the shit I would like to do.

One of my buddies was telling me (again) about how well he fucks his old lady, like I give a shit. It is funny though, that every fuck story from him starts out with something like "I was fuckin my girl for like 7 hours the other day dues, it was awesome..." Ok, let's get a couple things straight. I went through part of the list of narcotics it would take to enable you to fuck for that long without either dying, or grinding your dick down to a stub, or killing the girl you are shagging. You don't do any of them and the amounts you would need would probably kill most people. Now I know a couple things about drunk fuckin, but even after about 20 beers, it will last a while, but usually one of the two gets sore and you run out of spit and gasoline. Or one passes out and then it just gets creepy... after a few minutes. I would like a couple of you chicks who read this to comment, spare me the gory details, I don't need to know the intimate details of your sex life and I do not want to, but as far as time frames go, whats the longest you have gone in one round without stopping except to change positions before one of you got hurt, bored, passed out, or gave up on it? So far I have heard roughly about an hour and a half to two hours as being the cut off. This is only for one round though, if you take a break or go drink more beer or whatever, then you can't claim you shagged for 6 hours when you were really only fuckin for 2 or 3 of them, but shagged about 8 times in there. I had a threesome last summer that was like that, we were hammered, messed around for a while, went back to the fire and drank more, and the circle repeated itself throughout the night, that shit doesn't count.

Anyway, on to a less messy topic, sort of... I had this sub at work last week that took about 7 years off my life, but god damn it was good. It was called the Italian delight and was made from people. No, it had Italian sausage, ham, capicola, and salami. I ordered it with hot sauce and cheese, nothing else. Holy Fuck, it was awesome. Didn't eat the rest of the day, couldn't, but man was it worth it.

That is about all I have for now, go to bed fuckers. Have fun this week and use your grill's!!!

Me