This is why...

Everything has gone to shit. Yes, I have an awesome internship coming up, but when my fiancé cheated and my son's mother won't stop taking me to court and my lawyer is so sick of it it he doesn't even come prepared and I am trying to get custody of my other kid from a crack-whore?! I'just done.

Still full of hate and discontent

If these mouth breathing fuck tards knew what I was capable of if I were half as bad as they think or accuse me... I'd chain her down and fuck a hooker on top of her and then shoot them both through the stomach with one round so they have time to talk it out in agony before they die. Ok, I would never do that, but I'm sick of trying to convince them of the truth. I'm about ready to embrace the lie to proportions that are not able to be measured. You can only take so much and be beat down so far by them and the VA.

I'm reading my 1st Sgt's journal from the war for the first time and it isn't helping me any, but neither is being accused of being a shit heel for doing everything she ever asked. Maybe it's for the better that she goes, it's only been 7 months and her kids don't like me that much and she hasn't met my boy yet.

Out of straws to grasp at and believing the VA more and more. How can she sleep so soundly in a recliner while I am freaking out at the thought that she really means what she says every time she gets mad at me? I'm sick of trying to convince someone to want to be around me, I'll get by. Just swallow a little harder and screw the cap on a little tighter. I'll put up a pic of part of the VA's report on me in hope that someone somewhere won't think I'm super Hitler.

I mean, come on, I shot at and may have killed people that didn't piss me off as bad as these civilians... At least I knew I was dealing with people who would pretend to be nice before they tried to kill me... AND I saw it coming. Not like now, I just get blindsided at every turn, (and yes, most of it is my fault because I'm a degenerate fucking drunk, go judge someone who gives a shit) and I am running out of options. I'm too old to go contracting in the sand box, they are making me play the happy civilian and it is killing me. It really sucks having no outlet and nothing but this as my only means to vent. Oh well, I guess this is that whole "adult thing" they told me about. Time to strap on my big boy pants, swallow just a little harder, and screw the cap a little tighter then hope the heart attack takes me out before I become a more annoying problem to anyone. Unless I finish this twelve pack and find her pistol before she leaves me.

I hate everything

I'm done.  You want bitter, here ya go! I have a DNA test Thursday for a girl that got me drunk and lied to me about how she was sterile. 50/50 it really is mine. My girl just left me, I've been out of work for 3 month's and no hope in sight unless the VA comes through... I hear the laugh track in the background...  I can't pay half my bills and my roommates do what they can, which is their fare share, but not enough.  I am done. D.U.N. checking out and going to be what everyone assumed I would be.  A failure and a dick bag who sucks at everything and can't do anything right. Fuck you, you were right. Sorry I couldn't be what I was supposed to be or what I should have been. It is nobody's fault but my own for being a fuck. Sorry to have wasted your time these past few years, hope you had a laugh, and maybe at least a funny picture will help put this all to rest.

Ok, I know it has been way too long and nobody gives a fuck anymore, however, I am working on a new one... Hate and discontent to follow in the next few days if anyone notices this and responds/text's/emails that they actually want to hear it.

Back to work!!

Short post, I have been busy and have a bunch of stuff to do today as well. I go back to work Monday, only two more weeks of being a penniless asshole. I got my first unemployment check, but it was only a half check so I am still kinda boned. Next weeks plus more will go to rent and I have to pay for parking at work. I get reimbursed but have to get through that first week and a half first. I have 250 left to get me through the next 2 weeks for gas, food, parking, and whatever else. The end is near though, almost out of the woods. Thanks to my friends that have been helpful during this, I could;t have done it without you and you have my sincere gratitude. Two more weeks till I return to normal.

Unemployment day 13

I took a long weekend. So there.

I have something to do today!!!! A friend of mine owns a bar and asked if I would help fix up the stage, it needs an extra support or two and Out of all the guys that work there, I am the only one small enough to crawl and maneuver underneath it. It is also the first day of the new semester for me. I am taking physics 2 and cad/cam, a class for making cad drawings. I wish I could just load up on classes this semester and wait to go back to work till May, but that seems like too risky a move and I don't know if I could live on my unemployment that long. I am going to try and get my car payment put off for a couple months in the hopes that by the time it comes back up, I will be back to work. I am apx 200 hours away from my promotion and raise as well, fuckers. Weekend was ok, a friend of mine took me out for drinks Friday night and that was a good time. I ate an entire box of hamburger helper for dinner last night, what a stupid idea that was, that is wayyyy too much food for one person to try and eat. I thought my stomach was going to fucking explode, lessons learned I guess. I have a small conspiracy/rant I am trying to work on, I will try to have it up by Wednesday. I should get my first unemployment check this week, about goddamn time. I have about 200 dollars to my name and about 1000 in bills due this month. My check will only be for 350 so that kinda means some bill cats are going to be a little pissed at me this month, oh well. I'll catch up when I can, it's not like I don't want to pay my fucking bills. I feel like a real asshole having to pay things late or not at all. Still waiting on any of my shit to come in the mail so I can do my taxes, what is the goddamn deal?! Send me my shit so I can file and be done with it. I guess the only thing I really have to wait on is my school loan jive, I have my pay stubs from both places I worked and I think the thing that came from retirement is what I need for that, dunno, never had a retirement dud before, I already have $500 smackers waiting for me in 37 years. In future dollars, that will probably be like 5 bucks. ok, time for more coffee and the showdown with USAA about my car payment, lets see how Vet friendly this company for Vet's really is....

Unemployment day 9...

First things first, I need to deal with this picture...

I think they used actual crack heads for the top row. Most people don't think that is hot at all, those are the ones made fun of and checked into rehab clinics. The chicks on the bottom are good looking, but lets leave numbers out of this because most people lie and exaggerate the numbers anyway. Dress size can't be used either because that is arbitrary and has been changed over the years to make fat people feel better about themselves.

Now for my biggest point...

If you look like the top row, you cannot under any circumstances, post this picture and pretend like you are fighting the power or sticking up for women's rights or whatever the hell they are pissing about this week. That destroy's the whole point unless you really just hate the way you work and want to be thicker... I would rather not bang the top row except for number 1 and would bang 1 and 4 on the bottom row. Yes women models used to be a little bit thicker and yes some of them today (most) are too skinny and look sick. No, not every guy is beating his dick like it owes him money to the top row, very few are.

Now, onto our second order of business.

Mary Mark, you are an idiot but not one of us is surprised. He said that if he had been on one of the planes that went down on September 11th, he would have kicked everyone in the tits and saved the world from communism and hippies. Really...? It didn't take him long to apologize for calling everyone that died that day a pussy. Hey asshole, just because you did a few stunts and pretended to box in a choreographed couple of scenes, you cannot fight off a group of armed bandits who will fight to the death and not give a shit. Your new movie, Contraband, was not that bad, but kind of long.

I bought my books for school today, 350 total for two fucking classes. I need to start selling textbooks to colleges, that is where the money is. My old boss called me today and expects me to quit my union and go back to work for him making less than I am on unemployment... fat fucking chance, I already have a number on the list and a guarantee to return to work when that number comes up and there weren't that many people ahead of me on said list so fuck you. I think I may go out for wings tonight, use found out I don't have gigs this weekend or next so now I need to find something inexpensive to do. 25 cent wings and 6 dollar pitchers of beer, I can handle a bit of that without losing my home and car I think. Time for a nap or some video games, see you fuckers tomorrow.

Kris