Anyway, so we had a decent time Thur night. Went to work friday on about 2 hours of sleep and came home and started drinking with my roommates and family we start at 4pm. I had a lady friend stop by for a beer and hopefully some good dickin, and this other girl calls and asks whats going on, she's a friend so I tell her I'm hoping to do the horizontal limbo in the near future. She tells me if plan A fails she'll come over and tuck me in, hip chick, I should feel bad about it cause she isn't single. So plan A fails and the regular (used to be the regular, not anymore since she has a bf now kinda sorta) comes over, bails early on a date with her bf it seems and brings me leftovers, life is good, chicken wings rock. We continue our Jihad against sobriety and then head in "to get something from the house" which she has to look for naked at the foot of my bed head first, covered in crisco and duck feathers. Pleasant end to the festivities for the evening, crash around 4 again...
Saturday we all get up around 10 and commence with the feeding, head to the beer store and continue water boarding our livers. Around 3am two of these cats are spilling more than they are drinking which is funny, but expensive. They make it about 30 meters to the house, make the drink, come back down the four stairs to get outside and all the way back to the fire with no problem except for walking serpentine. Then somehow, within about 10 seconds they drop it, spill it, fall over or one talks shit to the other and the drink is tossed at the former, then both laugh. People are fucking weird but good entertainment, and not to worry, my shining moment of tard is coming up . So we finally decide to cash it in for the night around 4 or so, drinking that much makes you drowsy:)
Sunday I am out of coffee and breakfast jive so I head to the gas station for an energy drink and hit dunkin donuts on the way back, good sammiges, coffee tastes like a dead hookers boot after it sat in a dumpster for a week. First beer top hits the fire pit at 1223 hours. Drinking commences with a vengeance. Around 7pm it is decided to be a good idea (this is the pinnacle of my stupidity:) ) to get a picture of someone jumping through the fire that has been burning since thursday and currently has some logs and about 5 pallets on top of it. We are sitting about 20 feet away because it's fucking hot, what could possibly go wrong? I was burned before I even touched the fire, went in like super mario jumping, came out like superman flying somehow, not sure what happened, but my legs were tingly because I had shorts on, I am about two steps away from licking the freakin windows sometimes... So plan A from Friday is over with her friend and the old regular is hanging out too, all are having a good time. Plan A wants a ride on the 4 wheeler, so one of my roomies takes her for a spin and they are gone for a while, he sends me a text and asks me what the deal is and I tell him to go for it, kid needs to get laid and I'd rather shag the old regular anyway. When they come back she goes to take a leak and I go to high five roomie, he shrinks away and asks if I'm going to throw him in the fire... weird... I told him to go for it and have fun. They disappear like that 3 times then are standing all cuddly next to the fire, a real redneck hallmark fucking moment. Then the texting starts, she is texting me saying to rescue her from him and she wants to bump uglies with me later, while she is standing arm in arm with this cat and he is kissing her neck and she seems to not be hating it. I told her to solve her own problem and tell him no then, said she did but I doubt it, they were both enjoying it. I go to change the tunes in the garage and she follows and jumps on me and starts kissing me and I push her off and tell her no, to go back to other dude. She says she doesn't want him, told her too late now, I have to live with these people and you can't make out with my roommate for an hour then just walk away and into my bed, not cool. He see's her kiss me and gets mad, hops on his wheeler and takes off down the highway at 3am peeled, jackass. Finally comes back and I told him to chill, I wasn't going to fuck her and she is trying to play us. She still won't leave me alone and he goes to bed, then she sits by the fire and looks all depressed, stupid twat. I tell her to go solve her fucking problem and finished my beer and went to bed, old reg was sleeping but woke up when I closed the door and SQUIRREL!!!!
Sorry got distracted, so anyway, we got to some serious drunken fakkin and the door opens and doesn't close for a min or so, thought it was going to get ugly for a min, but she then went upstairs to the guy she had blown off to fuck him and he was passed out or kicked her out. She leaves and drags her friend out of the backseat of a car where she was making out with some dude. This plan a chick then sends me a text that says "you suck"... what in the fuck? Am I an asshole for not shagging that chick? If so then I'll be an asshole, not looking to open that can of worms, that chick has bad news written all over her, probably in many different donor's sperm.
Monday was recovery day first time we had anything to drink other than coffee, beer, and liquor all weekend. Overall a fun weekend, smoked 7 or 8 packs of smokes from Fri night to Sunday night, so am working on quitting, I still can't stand the taste or smell, most days go pretty good unless there is a lot of booze involved, like on Tuesday night just past, but thats a story for the next one, this is already too long. Cheers all, have a fun weekend and be safe enough to not die or go to jail.
Moriartty
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