This is why...

Everything has gone to shit. Yes, I have an awesome internship coming up, but when my fiancé cheated and my son's mother won't stop taking me to court and my lawyer is so sick of it it he doesn't even come prepared and I am trying to get custody of my other kid from a crack-whore?! I'just done.

Still full of hate and discontent

If these mouth breathing fuck tards knew what I was capable of if I were half as bad as they think or accuse me... I'd chain her down and fuck a hooker on top of her and then shoot them both through the stomach with one round so they have time to talk it out in agony before they die. Ok, I would never do that, but I'm sick of trying to convince them of the truth. I'm about ready to embrace the lie to proportions that are not able to be measured. You can only take so much and be beat down so far by them and the VA.

I'm reading my 1st Sgt's journal from the war for the first time and it isn't helping me any, but neither is being accused of being a shit heel for doing everything she ever asked. Maybe it's for the better that she goes, it's only been 7 months and her kids don't like me that much and she hasn't met my boy yet.

Out of straws to grasp at and believing the VA more and more. How can she sleep so soundly in a recliner while I am freaking out at the thought that she really means what she says every time she gets mad at me? I'm sick of trying to convince someone to want to be around me, I'll get by. Just swallow a little harder and screw the cap on a little tighter. I'll put up a pic of part of the VA's report on me in hope that someone somewhere won't think I'm super Hitler.

I mean, come on, I shot at and may have killed people that didn't piss me off as bad as these civilians... At least I knew I was dealing with people who would pretend to be nice before they tried to kill me... AND I saw it coming. Not like now, I just get blindsided at every turn, (and yes, most of it is my fault because I'm a degenerate fucking drunk, go judge someone who gives a shit) and I am running out of options. I'm too old to go contracting in the sand box, they are making me play the happy civilian and it is killing me. It really sucks having no outlet and nothing but this as my only means to vent. Oh well, I guess this is that whole "adult thing" they told me about. Time to strap on my big boy pants, swallow just a little harder, and screw the cap a little tighter then hope the heart attack takes me out before I become a more annoying problem to anyone. Unless I finish this twelve pack and find her pistol before she leaves me.

I hate everything

I'm done.  You want bitter, here ya go! I have a DNA test Thursday for a girl that got me drunk and lied to me about how she was sterile. 50/50 it really is mine. My girl just left me, I've been out of work for 3 month's and no hope in sight unless the VA comes through... I hear the laugh track in the background...  I can't pay half my bills and my roommates do what they can, which is their fare share, but not enough.  I am done. D.U.N. checking out and going to be what everyone assumed I would be.  A failure and a dick bag who sucks at everything and can't do anything right. Fuck you, you were right. Sorry I couldn't be what I was supposed to be or what I should have been. It is nobody's fault but my own for being a fuck. Sorry to have wasted your time these past few years, hope you had a laugh, and maybe at least a funny picture will help put this all to rest.

Ok, I know it has been way too long and nobody gives a fuck anymore, however, I am working on a new one... Hate and discontent to follow in the next few days if anyone notices this and responds/text's/emails that they actually want to hear it.

Back to work!!

Short post, I have been busy and have a bunch of stuff to do today as well. I go back to work Monday, only two more weeks of being a penniless asshole. I got my first unemployment check, but it was only a half check so I am still kinda boned. Next weeks plus more will go to rent and I have to pay for parking at work. I get reimbursed but have to get through that first week and a half first. I have 250 left to get me through the next 2 weeks for gas, food, parking, and whatever else. The end is near though, almost out of the woods. Thanks to my friends that have been helpful during this, I could;t have done it without you and you have my sincere gratitude. Two more weeks till I return to normal.

Unemployment day 13

I took a long weekend. So there.

I have something to do today!!!! A friend of mine owns a bar and asked if I would help fix up the stage, it needs an extra support or two and Out of all the guys that work there, I am the only one small enough to crawl and maneuver underneath it. It is also the first day of the new semester for me. I am taking physics 2 and cad/cam, a class for making cad drawings. I wish I could just load up on classes this semester and wait to go back to work till May, but that seems like too risky a move and I don't know if I could live on my unemployment that long. I am going to try and get my car payment put off for a couple months in the hopes that by the time it comes back up, I will be back to work. I am apx 200 hours away from my promotion and raise as well, fuckers. Weekend was ok, a friend of mine took me out for drinks Friday night and that was a good time. I ate an entire box of hamburger helper for dinner last night, what a stupid idea that was, that is wayyyy too much food for one person to try and eat. I thought my stomach was going to fucking explode, lessons learned I guess. I have a small conspiracy/rant I am trying to work on, I will try to have it up by Wednesday. I should get my first unemployment check this week, about goddamn time. I have about 200 dollars to my name and about 1000 in bills due this month. My check will only be for 350 so that kinda means some bill cats are going to be a little pissed at me this month, oh well. I'll catch up when I can, it's not like I don't want to pay my fucking bills. I feel like a real asshole having to pay things late or not at all. Still waiting on any of my shit to come in the mail so I can do my taxes, what is the goddamn deal?! Send me my shit so I can file and be done with it. I guess the only thing I really have to wait on is my school loan jive, I have my pay stubs from both places I worked and I think the thing that came from retirement is what I need for that, dunno, never had a retirement dud before, I already have $500 smackers waiting for me in 37 years. In future dollars, that will probably be like 5 bucks. ok, time for more coffee and the showdown with USAA about my car payment, lets see how Vet friendly this company for Vet's really is....

Unemployment day 9...

First things first, I need to deal with this picture...

I think they used actual crack heads for the top row. Most people don't think that is hot at all, those are the ones made fun of and checked into rehab clinics. The chicks on the bottom are good looking, but lets leave numbers out of this because most people lie and exaggerate the numbers anyway. Dress size can't be used either because that is arbitrary and has been changed over the years to make fat people feel better about themselves.

Now for my biggest point...

If you look like the top row, you cannot under any circumstances, post this picture and pretend like you are fighting the power or sticking up for women's rights or whatever the hell they are pissing about this week. That destroy's the whole point unless you really just hate the way you work and want to be thicker... I would rather not bang the top row except for number 1 and would bang 1 and 4 on the bottom row. Yes women models used to be a little bit thicker and yes some of them today (most) are too skinny and look sick. No, not every guy is beating his dick like it owes him money to the top row, very few are.

Now, onto our second order of business.

Mary Mark, you are an idiot but not one of us is surprised. He said that if he had been on one of the planes that went down on September 11th, he would have kicked everyone in the tits and saved the world from communism and hippies. Really...? It didn't take him long to apologize for calling everyone that died that day a pussy. Hey asshole, just because you did a few stunts and pretended to box in a choreographed couple of scenes, you cannot fight off a group of armed bandits who will fight to the death and not give a shit. Your new movie, Contraband, was not that bad, but kind of long.

I bought my books for school today, 350 total for two fucking classes. I need to start selling textbooks to colleges, that is where the money is. My old boss called me today and expects me to quit my union and go back to work for him making less than I am on unemployment... fat fucking chance, I already have a number on the list and a guarantee to return to work when that number comes up and there weren't that many people ahead of me on said list so fuck you. I think I may go out for wings tonight, use found out I don't have gigs this weekend or next so now I need to find something inexpensive to do. 25 cent wings and 6 dollar pitchers of beer, I can handle a bit of that without losing my home and car I think. Time for a nap or some video games, see you fuckers tomorrow.

Kris

Unemployment day 8, fight the power.

Unemployment day 7...

Well I actually did stuff yesterday. I mounted a spice rack and only had to modify a couple things and cleaned the kitchen. Today or tomorrow my big adventure is to vacuum, but I already went to school to set up my book deferment and went to the rez and picked up a couple groceries so that may be my day, haha! I had a few drinks last night and then just lost the urge and made some rice then went to bed. Fuck me, I need a hobby.

My recent friend with benefits has suddenly popped up and said that this arrangement doesn't work for her anymore, that kinda sucks, but things go as they will. I may go to an open mic tonight for something to do, but I'm worried about spending too much at the bar so I probably won't go. I need to find more funny stuff to read online to pass the time. I am also worried about next week only getting a partial unemployment check because I was laid off during the week, they couldn't have fucked me worse if they had spent a month plotting it.

School starts next week, physics 2 and cad/cam should be interesting. I wish I could just take the semester off from work and knock out a few classes, but I would feel like too much of an asshole and like I was screwing the system. The Union Hall did tell me I could turn down a call and go back to the bottom of the list, but I feel shitty doing that because I do really want to go back to work. It's been a week and I am bored as hell and spazzed about money.

Thought I had more to say, sorry, time for a movie and a nap.

Peace off,

Me

Unemployment day 6...

I took the weekend off, shoot me. I don't think it counts anyway because I usually don't do anything on the weekend anyway. I went to a birthday party at the Joseph friday night and Saturday a friend of mine made me dinner and then we got pissy drunk, it was a good time. Tonight I am going to see a man about a bridge... No, meeting up with a woman who has a kick ass funk band and owns a bar called Goodbar down by my college to see about setting up some gigs. I am finally out of the synch where I am up early so that is good, now I can enjoy the nights.

I spent a little cash over the weekend, but it is unavoidable, I just have to be careful. I bought a pizza so I can put off grocery shopping for a day or two. Have to go to the rez tomorrow for gas and smokes, but that will be my big running day for the week. I also have to remember to stop in at school to get my book deferment set up cause classes start next week. I wish I knew how long I was going to be off so I could take more classes or whatnot, but the risk of not knowing is too great so I will just keep plugging away at part time. Short one today, I have a spice rack to mount to a wall that isn't supposed to be mounted to a wall so there is that... goddamn hippies...

Unemployment day 3...

1056- been up since 0830 cause I finally had to shovel for the first time this season. Glad it held off so long, still pissed and hate snow. Then I tried to find a problem with my bathroom wiring, but the jackass that did it made such a mess out of it I need a few hundred dollars in testers that I do not currently have to do work I would charge over 50 an hour for due to the headache.

Attire- Sweats, had real clothes on to shovel and have a birthday party to attend later so I will have to make myself presentable... goddamnit.

Alcohol- Bought a bottle of rum last night to cure m boredom, it kinda worked and now I want to build a Rube Goldberg Machine. Trying to avoid the light beer.

Gas- half a tank, baby! Only drove 3 miles yesterday. This weekend will eat some gas though.

Money- 38 dollars less, I bought a huge ass bottle of rum and some soda to go with it. Ordered chicken wings, but I had 20 in my wallet I didn't know about so score on that.

Food- I also got a sub so I have half of that for today and maybe pasta for later, need to go grocery shopping.

Smokes- stayed under a pack yesterday, will have to go to the rez on Monday or Tuesday probably.

Entertainment- Assassins Creed 2. Played about 9 hours yesterday, will probably do the same today unless I take a nap this afternoon.

Status- Still bored, pissed cause the bathroom isn't working, the guys who fixed the shower are the worst plumbers ever and I think one is severely mentally retarded. I don't have the testing equipment I need to fix it without ripping the walls apart or just running new lines and I rent so fuck that. Not doing it for anything less than 65 an hour and that won't happen so I am safe.

Outlook- 4, Not looking forward to next week with not getting a check and having to pay for some shit I need, think I will spend the weekend at a friends house where the bathroom works and the shower hasn't been cobbed together by a retard. Going to try to have a drunk but cheap weekend, I may be able to pull it off.

Unemployment day 2

Really? A show called shipping wars? What could this possibly be about? The trials and tribulation of putting shit in a truck and driving it? Holy fuck, you have got to be fucking kidding me. I have been watching netflix for so long that I forgot how fucking stupid commercials are and half the shows on tv. Anyone with funny pictures, send them my way, I need some entertainment.

Time- 0916 Apparently the guy fixing the shower thinks that 1100 and 0830 are the same time...

Attire- Sweat pants and a NASA t-shirt commemorating the space program, because, ya know, they got laid off too.

Alcohol- 14 cans of beer, goddamnit I hate light beer. 1" of Soco, 1/3 bottle of rum.

Gas- Half a tank, still good.

Money- 500, Last paycheck cleared and I paid my car payment that was forgotten about last month. Have to start figuring out which bills to pay this month, will probably be car, ins, rent, and phone. I really hate light beer. Those are the most important ones.

Food- Thinking of going to buy some cereal. I could also just try to live on ensure shakes to see what happens, not sure if that would be too expensive though. I have some bacon I can make and some frozen waffles that are covered in ice by now. Did taco's instead of chicken yesterday and ate too much because I was bored. I want pizza and wings, but will need to find someone to split it with first... I wonder which is better, living on cereal or meal shakes?

Smokes- Almost half a carton, didn't have too many yesterday but I found some for 10 a carton so will make a road trip this week sometime to replenish.

Entertainment- Assassins Creed 2 at some point. May try to see how many times I can get drunk and fall asleep in a 24 hour period. Any tips for fun experiments such as that would be appreciated to curb the boredom.

Status- Bored and wide awake. Cheap wings tonight at the bar, but I am worried about spending money. The weekend is coming up and the normal people with jobs may want to do something this weekend and I would like to try and participate. Goddamnit I really, really hate light beer.

Outlook (out of 10)- 6, Spazzed about money, but realize I have to spend some to live and not go completely fucking insane. Some bills will just not get paid regularly for a while, but those will probably just be credit cards, they will live and maybe the apocalypse will happen soon and wipe out all computer and debt records just in time. School starts in a week and a half so that will be something to do a couple nights a week.

Unemployed

Fuck.

Double fuck.

So in the last four weeks, I have shelled out about 1800 in car repairs cause I still am paying for the car and see no other options, forgot to make a car payment last month because I was too caught up in xmas shopping, and I was laid off yesterday. I am already behind on bills and have no savings, no available credit and have used my overdraft protection to fix my car. Fucked doesn't even begin to describe this situation.

I went off my meds a couple months ago and was doing pretty well up until this last couple weeks. Oh, and the first 1000 dollar car repair, my car broke down on xmas night dropping off a friend after a party and the tow truck driver made me walk home a mile from the repair shop at 0500 in the freezing cold, thanks asshole.

I am going to try to keep a running daily update on my unemployment for those playing along at home. The preceding is the groundwork to see where I am starting this off and what will ensue...

Day 1.

1055 and I am already bored. I went to the Union Hall and signed the book and turned in all my paperwork. I have stuff I am supposed to turn in every month and haven't since last April, they looked a little pissed when I dumped it all on them. They told me it could be a couple days, could be a couple months but I am guaranteed to go back to work so at least I have that.

Attire- Jeans and a thermal, only because I had to leave the house to go to the Hall.

Alcohol- I have an inch of Soco, half a bottle of Rum Chata (some cool shit that tastes like cinnamon toast crunch), and 22 cans of beer, but it is light beer cause I was not paying attention and tastes like water. Drank 8 last night before I started to even notice it, I fucking hate light beer.

Gas- half a tank.

Money- technically less than zero but I deposited my last paycheck yesterday and it will pretty much all be gone when I pay the bills I could't last week because of the second car repair that cost 860.

Food- had cheesecake for breakfast and some coffee, lunch/dinner will be my last chicken tit with breading and rice.

Smokes- half a carton.

Entertainment- Netflix or maybe a video game, probably a nap this afternoon.

Status- Sober.

Outlook- (out of 10) 5. I get no paycheck next week and when unemployment kicks in, the nest I can hope for is 405 a week and will be screwed on taxes next year. I usually make 557 a week so this will take some adjusting and figuring. I do have a promise to be back to work at some point and I have student loan money coming in probably near the middle of February. Waiting for papers to come so I can do my taxes, but those won't be here for at least a couple more weeks.

Redundantly repeating myself, over and over again...

First off, I have a few fuck you's to lovingly hand out to the masses. I seem to have not gotten my point across yet that I do not appreciate and am not willing to either chase a girl or play some kind of game where you act like you don't want to talk to me to see how far I will go and then play hot and cold with me. If you want to be around me, goddamn say so and if you don't, say. fucking. so. If all you want is a shag, once again, say so and we can talk. If you just want to hang out and have a beer, I think you should say thats what you want and do exactly that. Oh, it doesn't help if you get blitzed on the first date and tell me how everyone says you are a slut and how funny and cute you think it is. That doesn't go much for earning you any kind of respect and will just get you the same treatment from me. If you act like some drunk fuck toy, you will be treated accordingly. You are not allowed to complain about it or try to pretend you are anything different.

Birthday's... you get a giant fuck you. I do not need a reminder that I am officially old. You already took my hair line and mounted an offensive against the colour of my hair, don't rub it in with the number game.

Next group of people that need to be raped with a rail road spike are the religious right. What kind of sense does it make to rally against abortion, but execute retarded people and cheer for people to die because they can't afford health insurance? And what goddamn person that claims to be a patriot would boo a soldier just because he is gay? He takes up arms and is willing to die for you fucks. That is the end of my political rant.

So, I am turning 30 in a few days... not sure how to feel about that or what to think. Am I old? Not old enough? Should I have accomplished more by this point? Am I supposed to have the house with the fence and the dog and be getting ready for my first divorce? Should I have a good career making 100k a year by now? I feel like I haven't gotten very far. I am still in school, only make 19 an hour, am single, rent, don't have a dog (but a cool cat!) I have friends that have some or all of these things, am I not as good as them? Am I a failure? I am glad I don't have kids yet and I haven't found anyone I can put up with long enough or that can stand me to get married. It's hard enough to wither get a second date or want one lately.

I almost forgot, a giant fuck you to insomnia. You suck fetid donkey balls. Let me fucking sleep so I am not a damn zombie unless I am slamming coffee and the like.

For my birthday, I will be setting up shop at my favourite local bar, Broadway Joes. I should arrive Friday early evening and be there until Sunday morning. The bar serves food and has a can so I should be all set. If fortune smiles upon me and I have Friday off from work, I will start Thursday night.

You think if my cat dies and I plant her in the yard, new cats will grow? Or would I have to do it while she is still alive? What if she comes back as a zombie cat? That would kinda blow, but it might be kinda cool...

Time to try the whole sleep thing again, farewell gentle reader. I can never say how much I appreciate you reading this useless crap time and again. I love you all and hope my posts get better or at least more entertaining. Hoping to have a good story after this weekend. Take care and go have a damn beer, sobriety is for hippies and sailors!!

Cheers,

me

The way things were...

Hey gang,

Once again, I throw myself at your mercy for my absence, I hope that some of you will see this and read it, even. It has been some time and shit has gone down. I am on a decent dose of my meds so that I am usually ok unless too much stupid happens, which is about every other day...

Back on the hunt for a lady companion and it is not going well!! Ha!!! One broad had the nerve to call me an alcoholic! Can you believe that shit! So, I got wasted and called her a cunt and then she didn't want certain parts of me to touch her anymore (certain parts being all of me.) She wanted to stay friends though, whew! What a relief, you mean instead of molesting your tits on a regular basis, I can just text you and say HI? You mean, when I see you with your next victim, I can't be sad or jealous or care? You know what they should say instead? (this is loosely quoted from my favourite movie called High Strung)... "I don't want anything to DO with you anymore, but it would be great for me if I could feel NO Guilt. It would be great if I thought I could call on you to help me with my life! But, I dont want to see you or hang out with you..." ..."It is like your mom coming up to you in public and saying 'Now remember I lover you very much, but when we are in public? Don't call me Mom, call me Marge.'" Fuck you, you projecting, drug addict of a slutbitchwhoremotherfucker. Lets, just be friends... yeah, but only if I can still have exclusive rights to those cans!! This is also assuming that I was the only one these past few weeks that had access to the promise land.

I have been working in a nursing home these past couple weeks. It is the most god damn depressing and sad place I have ever been in. I listen to these people yell and scream and cry for pills they just took, most cannot feed themselves, it is fucking horrible! My best thoughts go out to anybody that works in one of these despicable shit holes. Speaking of work, I started with the IBEW electrical union local 41 back in Feb. Got a decent raise and upgrade in work conditions, jobs, the whole fucking nine!

I am still in school working towards my mechanical engineering degree, this process will never end and will only get worse, going to school part time sucks. I have been thinking of simpler times lately, when we were younger and dumber. This last section is a few things that just used to be better.

Remember when things didn't suck as much? When all you had to worry about was getting to the game after school and what cd was next on your list to buy. I turn 30 next month, not too sure how I feel about that. I am getting old and I can see it, my hair has thinned out so that I now shave my head. I actually need sleep now. I have no fucking clue what these dipshit kids are doing with their clothes, either. Dress like a god damned man if you are a man. No more stealing your fucking girlfriends jeans and hair style!!

Remember when being in the military used to mean something? When people were proud to talk about their time in? When employers sought to hire veterans? When a woman's deciding factor in dating you wasn't whether or not you served? I seem to notice that we have a horrible rap now and people are afraid of us and not in the good way. The government tells us to beggar off when we ask for the things we were promised in writing.

Remember when a gal liked (and dare I even say appreciated) being treated nice? Instead of getting bored with that pussy shit of a bitch and slipping off with the next guy that looks like they will slap them and call them a stupid cunt. (Fuck you autocorrect! I will teach you the word cunt!!) We used to kick guys asses if we saw him acting that way towards a lady. Now you see it and you can see the look in the eyes of the people around and the girls flutter as the guys look on in awe. I know there is something to be said for the bad boy image, but since when did trying to be nice to someone mean that you are a puss? I don't like to yell at people for no reason and I was brought up to be polite and treat your girl like she was as great as you knew she was/is. It seems like the only people you see in relationships are always fighting like they hate and resent each other. They always go back to the guy that hits them, as well! I know not 100% of the time, save your hate mail, but a lot of the time! I have been told I was too nice before when girls have broken up with me. What the fuck?! Isn't the point to be with someone you like and enjoy spending time around? Someone you don't fight with all the time and you smile when you think of spending time with them? Why the fuck would anyone stay with someone they weren't happy to see? Are we all that intent on being miserable, the victim, the forsaken?

Now, I know I am not the most cheery little fuckin trooper out there, but come the fuck on. Nobody likes being in a bad mood all the time, it sucks. Most of us try to do things that we enjoy, or that will cheer us up. Things like having a beer with a friend, plowing the snot out of some hot piece of ass, listening to music, the list goes on and on. Stop being a pathetic little emo fuck tard and realize that you are not nearly as important as you think you are and shut the fuck up.

Remember when men used to be men? Men drank beer, smoked, swore, knew how to build and fix shit, etc.

We sure as shit aren't getting any younger, folks. Stop wasting your time and find a decent girl or guy. Go find a career or job you don't hate. Go toast a shot with your favorite bitter Jarhead:) Have a blast and don't take no fucking prisoners!!

me

yeah... and stuff

So, it has been quite a while and I have meant to do this for a while. I don't have much to say today, just got back from seeing the girlfriend in North Carolina for a week and have to do all the shit I ignored for a week. I have an 8 page paper to write a draft of, and two chapters of physics to read and do the questions on.

I have been watching football recently, not sure why, but even my local team the Bills are playing decent today. I started the twitter thing up, finally figured I would check it out. I think while during school as I don't have time to do shit, this twitter thing may come in handy with regards to this. You should be able to find me there by my phone number and email, but the screen name is K_Kalishnakov. For some reason they put @ in front of it, guess it just feeds the western ego of being important and all that jive.

School has been killing me slowly, working 40 hrs a week on top of 12 credit hours is not fun as many of you already know. I had to quit the metal band because I didn't have time to ever practice with them and haven't done much with the cover band either. Just work and school, and work Saturday's when I am home to make up for leaving work early for school. I work 6 or 7am till 2 pm, and then class from 3 till 8 4 days a week. Then I come home and try to do homework until I fall asleep at my desk or reading propped up in bed. Next semester will be much the same, although I get to take calc along with an upper level anthropology classes that will take care of a gen ed requirement, and biology, fun wow. The fourth and or fifth is a tossup depending on what my adviser will allow, either sociology or mechanics1. In the fall I should be able to start taking mostly if not all engineering classes, so at least I will finally be taking the classes for my major.

I took a trip in October and I'll tell a bit about the vacation next time, I have to read a couple books and write that damn paper. Follow me on twitter and I'll follow you, I can do that from my phone and it may work out:)

Cheers

Letters to all BUT Cleo...

Dear dude that broke into my neighbor's car sat night,

I hope you are not stupid enough to try to hit his house or car again tonight or mine because there is nothing to barricade between the two. You now have a nightly patrol of two drunk and bitter construction workers with shot guns waiting in an elevated position behind the house waiting for you. I want to thank you for being part of the lower 10% and reaffirming my very bleak outlook on humanity.

Regards,

Kris

Dear all ex girlfriend's of mine,

Why do you feel the need to keep tabs on me and "drop me a line" from time to time to see how I am and then trash talk me behind my back? I am assuming there is or are very good reasons that we broke up. I am also assuming that you don't have any interest in talking to me because I only hear from you once a year when you are drunk or very lonely. If that is the case, buggar off, I have plenty of better ways to waste my own time without you doing it for me.

See you in hell,

Kris

Dear black wasp that looks bluish in the sunlight,

I hate you, do you know how much I hate you? More than I can express here in this letter. If I ever, EVER get my hands on you, I will make sure you die a very slow and painful death. Don't even think about stinging me either, I know what you pack and I have some very flammable aerosol cans, oily rags, and a lighter. I will find you and your entire family/hive and roast them like a fucking marshmallow.

Best wishes,

Kris

Dear Boss,

Fuck. You.

Warm wishes,

Kris

Dear guy who sells drugs on his front porch across the street from me,

Stop it you fucktard, even you cannot be that stupid to think everyone doesn't know it. I know you and your white rash queen girlfriend who is only with you because your ugly mug sells drugs think you are pimp's or whatever the kids call it these days, but one of these days you will piss me off and then I wouldn't be surprised to see the cops knocking your front door in the next night.

Sincerely,

Kris

Dear fat chick I saw today with the mini skirt and spandex top that let your beer gut pop out underneath it,

Stop it.

Yours truly not ever,

kris

Dear Head dude on my current job site,

We both know my boss is a douchebag, but don't make my job any harder because of it. Your attention on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Kris

Dear Facebook,

Why are you nothing more than another email to check? Do you really think I care that someone that friended me 3 years ago and has never talked to me just "got back from shopping!! Whew!!!" ? Go fuck yourself.

Your mindless slave in email,

Kris

Dear cat,

You are a very weird little kitten, why do you attack nothing and then pretend like nothing happened when you see me looking at you? Uncross your eyes, your face will freeze like that someday.

From,

Kris

Dear V.A.Chick,

If you are so goddamned intent on talking to me once a month then how about you try answering your mother fucking phone or lessening to a voicemail and returning it sometime.

Sincerely,

Kris

Dear United States of America,

When will you stop this stupid little tantrum you are throwing and just go along with the damn metric system? You do know there are only about 2 other countries still doing this, right? What are you trying to prove? Or are there just too many illiterate fucks in this country that cannot wrap their drug addled minds around the concept of the number ten?

Oh, and Happy Birthday this weekend too. I gave you eight years of my life in the service, now it's time you do this one small favor for me.

Regards,

Kris

Dear V.A. college tuition thingy place,

Fuck you, you stole half my money for school and I hope you all rot in the worst place your religion allows for all eternity.

Sincerely,

Kris

Dear Buffalo State advisor,

If you really want me to come in for a meeting, then return an email or a phone call, you prick. I told you I cannot do what you told me to do because I need someone higher up than I to force some things or at least have them entered into the computer correctly. I will be at your office in sometime in the next couple weeks and so help me, you better have some fucking answers and solutions for me.

Happy holidays

Kris

Dear migrant workers framing the building I am working in,

Stop stealing our ladders and tools. I know you speak English, I hear you doing it. Don't pretend you have no clue what I am saying when I ask for my shit back or I will call INS and have your worthless ass deported.

From the desk of,

Kris

Dear landlord,

It has been 4 weeks, FIX THE DAMN SINK IN THE HALF BATH YOU BITCH!!! Don't make me enlist the help of child protective services to clean out that filthy hovel across the street from me you slither around in with two 15 watt lightbulbs lighting up the entire place except for what appears to be a grow room in the attic.

You suck,

Kris

Dear women who wear sundresses in the summer,

I love you.

Warmest wishes,

Kris

Dear kids who turn their bass up so loud the only thing you hear is the license plate rattling,

Do you have any idea how much of an asshole you are? I don't want to have to put my window up at a red light because you are an inconsiderate piss ant. If the prison term were short enough, I would shoot you in the face.

Sincerely,

Kris

ps. Pull up your fucking pants too.

Dear Internet,

What the fuck? Kudos on red tube, but why for the love of it all do you let half of these retards post thins on you tube? I enjoy watching a lot of your content, but for fuck's sake, do you have any idea the stupid shit people put on there?

Yours truly,

Kris

Dear people that have more than 4 kids,

Why? I know you like to shag, but come on! I am not one to want to dictate reproduction, but if you can't afford to have kids, don't.

Die, die, die,

Kris

Dear fish in Lake Erie,

I feed you more than I should, help a brother out! I don;t want to resort to using M-80's, but I will. Do not force my hand on this issue.

Regards,

Kris

Dear homeless guy who steals empty bottles and cans from my porch,

You are an ass. You know, if you just asked, I probably would have just given them to you, but now I am contemplating buying a metal refuse bin to replace the plastic one where I currently keep empties on my front porch and wiring it to zap your ass to Timbucktoo. There is no need to come onto my porch and root through the bin. I might just put some razor blades in there, just my little way of saying "Welcome to the neighborhood". :)

Good luck,

Kris

Dear readers,

Thank you for putting up with my shit, rants, and incessant bitching the past year. I hope you are getting a good laugh once in a while or are at least mildly amused. I'm sorry I don't read your blogs as much as I should and sorry I stopped posting regularly. I will attend to these issues as best I can. The few who comment do hold a tiny piece of my heart and I appreciate your comments and reading. I wish I could throw a party and invite you all for grilling and drinks. I will be in Kansas City on Halloween weekend this year for a football game, and to party my dick off. If anyone will be in the area, hit me up and we will drink much and have many more laughs.

See you cats next week,

Kris

I'd rather get a Cleveland steamer from a tranny than go back there.

Where to start... Well I know it has been a while but some shit went down, at first not much happened and I didn't have much to write about but now your old lovable asshole is back with a vengeance. I'm not sure when the last one was and I don't care to go look it up.

I was accepted to school for mechanical engineering to start in the fall, not the school I wanted, but it was the one that offered night classes so I can still go to work. I am excited about it because I finally have a purpose in school, I won't have to be a non-union electrician for the rest of my life, and I can quit this job sometime in the foreseeable future. They want me to take calc, chem, physics, and CAD this fall, at least I won't be bored! I felt good for a few days until I had to go back to work for my boss, the temp thing ended and he drug me back kicking and screaming. Every idea that he has that he thinks will save him a buck takes me three times as long to do and is twice as hard for no good fucking reason, but he signs the checks and every now and again he hits a winner so fuck it.

I was dumped via text message... what a crock of shit that was, this broad was a miserable twat all weekend long, even took her out on my buddies boat to cheer her up (shut her the hell up) and nothing was good enough. She had been acting weird for a couple weeks so I figured something was coming, especially when she started not leaving things at my place anymore, partied all week with her friends and didn't have the energy or anything to do anything with me but still bitched about not doing anything. She told me in the text that she realized she couldn't change me... Really?! After knowing me for a year and a half and not noticing any changes at all in the way I live my life or conduct myself (except for getting into my major) you think I would flip a switch and suddenly become this sappy, over emotional shit head? I wish I could convey enough sarcasm here, but I hope you all get the point. Let us get a couple things straight right now. I am not a human blanket, especially when it is hot out. I know you are there and I like you or you wouldn't be here. I don't need to touch you or be touched by you every three minutes to remember these things. I will not spend all day every day fighting to win your affection. If you are that needy, get the shit out. I will not take you to a restaurant that costs $75 a plate every weekend, I am not made of money and until you offer to pay something or do anything but bitch, you can go be a spoiled brat somewhere else.(Special occasions not included in that last one.)

And who the fuck is Carrie Adams?!?! Why did you friend me on facebook? I better know who the hell you are or I better look one hell of a lot better than I think I do and you better like whiskey.

I moved about a week and a half ago, just before Memorial Day for you Yank's. Left the almost country out in Amherst, NY and hit the north towns, in a suburb called University Heights. 4 goddamned doors down from the University I just transferred out of... fuckers. The new place is pretty cool though, the roommates are all cool and all seem clean enough and tidy enough. One is some kind of bacteriologist, one is a pharmacy student unless he decides to go to med school, and the other is an architect. 2 of them like beer, and are all cool to shoot the shit with. I hear the young one scares easily too:) of course, that is the one gone for the summer so I have to wait until fall to fuck with him. I think I could get into a fair amount of trouble on this street, last fall two houses down had naked jello wrestling twice a week.

The shrink put me on this pill called Mirtazipine (sp?) and it was ok for a week or so, but I think the dose needs to be upped. It is supposed to have a pretty good sedative in it, but I sleep worse and worse and still have most the problems as before. The other option was some pill that had an anti-fucking thing in it. I told him if I couldn't shag then we would have bigger problems so let's go with the other one. I can't drink as much on it, but it means I am a cheaper date I guess, hahaha! Now that I am back out on the hunt, I don't need some pill that gives me whiskey dick and kills my drive. I think my next session is tomorrow, so we shall see what happens. This new place I am living in puts me within walking distance to a few bars so at least that will be fun, no more worries abbot having to drive home from the pub!

That is about all I have for now, looking for a new name for the band and a new coozie for my beer, so if anyone has any good idea's or link's, please send them. Have a good rest of the week and do a shot of Jamison for your favorite little piss ant.

Cheers,

Kris

ps. this piece was not edited (as usual) so I apologize for the screw ups.

People who are potatoes should't fuck

Yes, I found a Green man costume, anyone who is a fan of the show "It's Aways Sunny in Philadelphia" will get a kick out of it, the rest of you probably think I am a weirdo, but that is your opinion. I think I pull it off rather well :p

For the record, as far as I know, no one likes making out with a rug... or fucking it. This applies to both sides so clean your shit up people, pretend like you care. This is directed at no one in particular, just the result of a discussion I had recently. Speaking of recent conversations, the weirdest thing happened to me the other weekend. I was at a cookout with a couple old military buddies, and I get a text. It was from my boss, and it said "What's up?" My boss isn't much for talking or shooting the shit, especially to me. This is also aside form the fact he whored me out to anther electrical company in December and I am still there because he has no work. He won't lay me off so I can just work for this other and much better company. I am a little freaked out by this text, so I call him to ask if he is ok, he informs me that he is, just waiting for his friend/date to decide where she wants to go for dinner and he wondered what I was up to. I told him, "hey dude, it's Friday. I'm cooking on a grill and drinking my face off, care to join?" He politely declined the offer... wuss. Although if I could bench 350 pounds at the age of 54, I probably wouldn't fuck it up by eating shitty food and binge drinking either.

The VA has upgraded me from seeing a behavioral social worker to seeing a full blown witch doctor (shrink). They want to dope the white kid up so he is nicer to people or some jive like that. We shall find out this Wednesday.

Now for the big news, this one is actually good. I was accepted for my major last week, I am officially a mechanical engineering student. I now have a purpose in school and maybe even in life, hopefully I don;t get bored with this after a few months or a year like I seem to do with everything else. Hope not, supposed to be an interesting job. Once I get my degree I may still go to law school, but I have a couple years to decide on that one. Now I have to learn a new campus and go through an orientation, that I am required to attend and just happens to cost 60 beans... fuckers. Fuck I need a beer.

As long as I am thinking about beer, my hangout bar, Broadway Joe's, is now offering free pancakes on Monday nights during karaoke, how weird is that? Pancakes and beer?! From the sounds of it, it seems to be going over quite well, though I am still skeptical. Have to check it out next month when I move a little closer to the place. I am moving at the end of the month into the city finally. Right next to the entrance of the school I just transferred out of, what a kick in the sack. The other school is about 10-15 away though, so not too bad still. Back to full time school in the fall, it may fuck things up with one or both of my bands, def one of them, but I told them about it and after some bitching, they realized I was serious and trying not to fuck them over. I finally realized I don't want to make 14 bucks an hour and work outside for the rest of my life. This degree will get me out of that and I am going to do it. It may keep me in this state for longer than I would like, but it is something I need to do. Would like to be able to afford my own place and have the cash to do some of the shit I would like to do.

One of my buddies was telling me (again) about how well he fucks his old lady, like I give a shit. It is funny though, that every fuck story from him starts out with something like "I was fuckin my girl for like 7 hours the other day dues, it was awesome..." Ok, let's get a couple things straight. I went through part of the list of narcotics it would take to enable you to fuck for that long without either dying, or grinding your dick down to a stub, or killing the girl you are shagging. You don't do any of them and the amounts you would need would probably kill most people. Now I know a couple things about drunk fuckin, but even after about 20 beers, it will last a while, but usually one of the two gets sore and you run out of spit and gasoline. Or one passes out and then it just gets creepy... after a few minutes. I would like a couple of you chicks who read this to comment, spare me the gory details, I don't need to know the intimate details of your sex life and I do not want to, but as far as time frames go, whats the longest you have gone in one round without stopping except to change positions before one of you got hurt, bored, passed out, or gave up on it? So far I have heard roughly about an hour and a half to two hours as being the cut off. This is only for one round though, if you take a break or go drink more beer or whatever, then you can't claim you shagged for 6 hours when you were really only fuckin for 2 or 3 of them, but shagged about 8 times in there. I had a threesome last summer that was like that, we were hammered, messed around for a while, went back to the fire and drank more, and the circle repeated itself throughout the night, that shit doesn't count.

Anyway, on to a less messy topic, sort of... I had this sub at work last week that took about 7 years off my life, but god damn it was good. It was called the Italian delight and was made from people. No, it had Italian sausage, ham, capicola, and salami. I ordered it with hot sauce and cheese, nothing else. Holy Fuck, it was awesome. Didn't eat the rest of the day, couldn't, but man was it worth it.

That is about all I have for now, go to bed fuckers. Have fun this week and use your grill's!!!

Me

hemorrhoid's, the ass"s clitoris

A reflective note, before I get into things. It has been quite some number of years since I have sat down with a cup of coffee and a fresh pack of smokes and watched the sun come up over the open ocean. It was a peaceful way to start the day, I would like to do that again sometime soon. It takes my mind off of things like this retard I saw the other day driving his car on the freeway with headphones in. What in the fuck is wrong with this asshole? I may do a couple of sort of unsafe things whilst driving, but that one just tops it all. I might even understand if it was just one in, but both?! Please let him cause an accident with me so I can drag him through his windshield and beat the ever-loving shit out of him. If I believed in a god, that would be my prayer every night before I went to bed.

I also want to take this chance to tell all you women-folk out there that just because I engage you in conversation, or holy shit, try to be nice to you, especially when I am offered a paying gig and am trying to keep in your good graces, I am not hitting on you. This one skirt got all freaked out and went whining to a friend of mine because I invited her out for a night of hobnobbing with musicians with my band and many others and then I get a barrage of text's at 4am that I am a scum bag for hitting on his friend. Safe to say I will not be playing for that band this summer, kind of sucks, even though the music was some shitty dance crap, it was still going to be a paying gig and I need the cash with my band doing a recording soon and me moving at the end of May. Just because I talk to you does not mean I want to fuck you, get over yourself and lose that fat cottage cheese ass if you want to pretend to be a diva, bitch.

Another person that needs to be placed in a burlap sack and thrown off a cliff is the little piss ant that works at Guitar Center. I go in for an item that is supposed to be in stock and it isn't. No surprise there as that store is never reliable, but this fucktard thought he was going to get me to order my item and pay to have it shipped to the store! I told him he was about as smart as a bag of hammer's if he thought I was going to pay 5 dollars to ship an item that cost 3.50 and he was supposed to have in stock. He informed me it was policy and I told him he could shove that policy and the entire store right up his emo ass and that if I didn't have my credit card in my hand in exactly 2.4 seconds, he was going to learn a new definition of the phrase "inhumane punishment". I may have to stay out of that store for a few months... At least I can get a free trip to Mexico if I travel to Arizona this summer and don't take my passport with me:)

On a slightly more comical note, last week I received a text from my girlfriend, first of the day. It said something to the effect of "Did you know that if a chick shag's two guys in one night and she drops two eggs (cause apparently that's a thing) and they both get knocked up that she can have fraternal twins with two different fathers?" Well good morning to you too, you psycho freak. I politely inquired to see if she had something she wanted to tell me... two somethings... She said it was a "fun fact" she learned in her human genetics class. I told her I was going to spike her morning coffee with the day after pill every day from now until the time (if) we are no longer dating and for two months thereafter. Somehow I came out as the asshole in that conversation... How fucked up is that to be be the first text I get from her during the day? That is almost as fucked up as the outing to the liquor storer a couple weeks before that. We went in to get her a bottle of wine and me some whiskey so I could get her trashed enough to put out. When we got to the counter they asked her for her i.d. She presented and then the broad looks at me and asks if I have mine. I say nope and look her dead in the eye and she kinda takes a step back then looks down and goes, "oh, ok...", and checks us out. I didn't think that would work in a million years! I was laughing my ass off the entire way home.

I have my next meeting with the V.A. shrink this next Monday, wonder how that is going to go:) They want to put me on med's for "severe anxiety, depression, and OCD", amongst a couple other things. It's not my fault that every thing has a place and people piss me off. My blood pressure is getting better, but my stress level's are getting worse they tell me. I am supposed to relax more and not get so worked up about things. So I am not supposed to worry that I may have to quit my band's, not supposed to worry that I may not have a job next week, that the new apartment may fall through, my car won't break down, I can trust physics not to let the world implode, I won't get ambushed walking home from school or the bar, I get accepted to school for the fall, and a myriad of other things?! Easier said than done, V.A. chick.

That picture is my new stand on politics, I am about done watching the news or listening to it, it causes too much grief in my life to watch these fuckers squabble over money and votes. School is almost done for the semester and I am welcoming the break.

Angry Red, the pics of Greenman are coming as soon as I get them from the chick that took pictures at the party last Friday. For the rest of you, if you are a fan of "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia", you should get a kick out of it. The weirdest part of that party (aside from me in a spandex lime green body suit) was that an ex of mine was there, first time seeing her since we broke up about three years ago. Avoided each other until we were hammered, then ended up on the same beer pong team. We actually talked and joked a bit, it was really weird and took about 2 minutes until we started calling each other out on all the fucked up shit. She accused me of a bunch of shit but realized I was telling the truth when I told my side of it. Kind of took the wind out of her sails, mine a little bit too. Some of the worst stuff I figured happened may not have, still skeptical, but that is just me:) Waiting to see if there will be a part two of this conversation.

V, I haven't forgotten about the pics of me with my new spectacles, just been rough trying to find time to do shit, school is almost done, I will try to get them next week, I can shave now that the Sabre's have let me down once again. Still a hope for Vancouver, they cared enough to make it out of the first round of playoff's.

I shall close for now, getting late for this old cat, work tomorrow and a whole new round of fun there... Everyone be safe and come back with some good stories, I will start catching up on all your blog's next week, sorry I dropped off the face of the planet this semester, hope some of you haven't forgotten me and still read and even get a chuckle.

Semper Fi,

Kris