Put some fucking pants on you slag!

I thought of a new pick up line I wanted to test here because none of the three of you are close enough to punch me in the face for it in the event that it sucks... here goes. "Hey, want to eat, drink, or fuck together sometime?" This may be the line that lands me my dream girl, Weird Al described her very well in a song called "Close, but no cigar". A world famous billionaire bikini supermodel astrophysicist. Hip tune, check it out.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtMU8nvZzOs Hope the video works ok, but the audio was good on my witchcraft box...

I didn't do shit this past weekend so no horror stories, I skipped town and hid out at a friends house. I had to cook dinner and help clean, but I didn't have to talk to anyone or do fuck else and it was awesome. Kind of sucks she has a couple of fuck trophies, though methinks she is a little too religious for my taste in the long term and she is a sweet kid and deserves someone a little better off and on the same level as her. She is a cool friend and stuff though. This may end up being short but I do have a couple of things I would like to touch on as well as my first segment that I hope to make a consistent weekly thing I will unveil at towards the end. I am uploading a video, hope the quality is ok, I took it on my phone at work. If it is decent, I will try to do one a week of something cool of annoying:)

I submitted my application to re-enter school, do a semester at UB then applying to Buff State since they offer mechanical engineering at night and JewB doesn't. I wonder if I should be in a hurry to grow up or if I should just let things take their course. I mean I am 28 now and one foot in the grave, but come on, I am kind of glad I am not tied down with kids and a house and shit, I can still go play with my bands and have fun and don't have to answer to anyone for anything. I seem to notice most people my age have a career and all that shit though... I am a work in progress it seems, it is probably a good thing I don't have kids or a significant other currently, I couldn't afford either and I can barely take care of my own ass and keep myself out of trouble. Speaking of which, I am going to my first private party Friday night, yes thats how pathetic my life is, 28 and my first big party, hahaha! A local radio cat is hosting it, he has become a bud of mine through the metal band. It is an ugly sweater party, I have to go buy some nasty looking xmas sweater and wear it,m but there should be lots of booze and broads... Maybe I can have a stimulating conversation with a nice girl, and by that I mean some freaky drunken hate sex.

As long as we are on the subject of dames, I pose a question to both dudes and chicks. If you were toe opposite sex for a day, what would you do? I don't expect anyone to admit their answers to me, but I will share mine since I am that easily amused. I probably wouldn't get out of bed before noon because I would be enamored with my cans. I would probably just poke one and giggle at it over and over again then bitch cause they got in the way every time I moved or tried to pick something up. They are cool, and god bless you ladies for slingin them things around, but I am glad I don't have them myself. However, that is no excuse for you not to wear fucking pants. I cringe every time I see someone at school or out in public in their goddamned pajama pants or sweats, I mean come on, at least have the common courtesy to put some clothes on that you didn't sleep in. I am not saying I know sex about shit when it comes to fashion, some of you know this first hand:), but come on, I am about as unmotivated as it gets some days and I still put clean real clothes on when I leave the house. I own a couple pair of pajama pants and wear them at the house or if I am at someone else's piece and hanging out for the night watching movies and whatnot, but I don't put them on until I am there. At least track pants are real clothes and it makes people think you could be on the way to or from the gym...

My transitions suck tonight and for that I apologize, but if you are still here then lets fucking rock! My mind is all over the place tonight and I don't have enough booze in me to focus on one thing at a time yet so deal with it. I thought of a new slogan for my cover band, something to put right under the name when I get around to learning how to and actually re-making the website. it will read as such... "Zazz Blammymatazz... Lock up your fucking daughters!" My bass player loved it and it made me smile.

I received a huge shout out from my newest blogging friend Spanky. Her blog is called Spanky loves it, and is definitely worth a read, she likes Twatlight, but is still a hip chick. She told me I remind her of most of her ex's, that made me laugh as well as sit back and think, "Wow, pissed one off I have never even met... that is a new one." I know I am bad at the relationship game, but fuck, that is a new way to fail. However, big ups to Spank-a-tronic for the shout out!

I have been told by some people that I complain too much, first of all, Fuck you. Second, well, thats all I have. Not really, I do complain, I try to be humorous about it most of the time, but I think a lot of it comes from my time in the military. We complained and it kept us busy and helped us deal. I remember a few times during the war when food was slightly scarce and we were sitting around bitching that we were hungry. Shortly thereafter we had more MRE's delivered and tossed the case aside yelling about how we would rather starve than eat that shit... then we ate it:( Small example, but the point is this- I bitch alot, more than most and maybe too much, however, comma, pause for effect, as long as I can find something to bitch about, (and I will!) then everything is ok. Once shit gets bad enough that I can't even complain about anything, there is a clock tower awaiting V and I with a bottle of whiskey, bottle of vodka, and a couple rifles to begin the cleansing of all the mouth breathing fuck-tards.

Now, before I close I want to unveil my new section, I have named it "People I hope get raped by a rabid wombat". This weeks winner is that hypocritical, corn shucking, ass bag, Scott Stapp from Creed. I was so happy when they broke up, I though to myself, "Creed is gone, don't have to hear their shit music evermore!" But then the two factions each made their own band...

that both sounded JUST LIKE FUCKING CREED!!!!!!! Fuck?!?!?! I tore half of my hair out and strangled a hooker just to get over it. I stopped listening to radio, half because of that. Now those dick bags are back at it, and now he is bald I heard, what a fucking tool bag. I can't even think of a fate horrible enough for him, but I am trying.

I shall return soon, should have some good stories from the party this weekend, maybe I can find some trouble to get into Saturday night as well! Have a good week all, stay warm and safe, have a shit ton of fun and remember to fucking smile or laugh at something, it will keep you sane. Also if you need a laugh, I recommend a couple of podcast's that you can find in the Itunes store. Sick and Wrong, Vomitus Prime, and the Pissed off World of Uncle Hal Radio Show.

Cheers,

Kris