Take your happy-go-lucky motivational speech about rainbows and sunshine and shove it up your ass...

Sorry for the delay, had some shit go down, I guess I'll start at the end and work back from there for the most part whilst trying to not be too random with a few other things so here goes...

Snow day at work today, it's 10 Dec, anyone in the North East knows what is goin down. Wish I was at work though, need the money, but didn't want to be outside all day in a foot or so of snow with temperatures hovering around 2 degrees fucking Kelvin. However, it gives me time to catch up on your blogs as well as write mine, sorry I have been absent friends. I had a bit of a meltdown the other day that fueled most of this, it stared last week.

I decided I hate my job, does this look like what a goddamned electrician does?!

I spent last week building signs for property my boss buys and wants to try to flip and learning a bit about changing shocks on a 61 mustang (think it's a 61, don't know sex about shit when it comes to cars...) Anyway, a week ago Sunday I decided to look for better jobs, something inside and more clean and nice with benefits maybe, if thats not too much to ask. I applied at Bank of America, a friend of mine works there and was helping me along with Red and another friend of mine with my resume, cover letter, and picking out something to wear for the interview. I submitted my application and within 12 hours I had an offer to take the online test to see if you would be any good at the collections job. Smoked the test, it was an hour long and you weren't supposed to finish, my time? 32 minutes fucking flat, suck it. Blew through the phone interview in 6 minutes and was offered a real interview for Monday the 7th. Knocked that out of the water. Tue went back for final interview... this cock sucker took one look at my resume and didn't want to listen to a word that came out of my mouth. He told me that there was nothing in my resume that qualified me in any way shape or form to do any aspect of this job that dealt with teamwork, stress, and people management along with being good with people. Noting? What about the 7 years in the Marines where I spent 6 months living in an M1-A1 fucking tank?! On a crew of 4 people, that takes some team work to stay alive, that could be a little stressful when PEOPLE ARE FUCKING SHOOTING AT YOU!!!!! Or how about when I as an E-4 was doing the job of someone 3 years ahead of me AND the job of someone with a 4 yr degree at the same time as doing my own job? Thats not people skills? Thats not getting shit done and managing my time and people? Fuck you, you piece of shit. Tuesday was the last straw for me, I left my house in a $1000 suit with a hope and a fucking dream, how stupid of me, but goddamn I do clean up pretty nice...

Yes, I did take out all of my piercings and was clean shaven when I went in, two hours later...

Add carharts, snow, cold, and me being soaked through and picking up scrap metal out of said snow for my boss at some house he bought for 8k that will take 50 to fix before he moves the house and garage to the other side of the lot... the yard is full of garbage and scrap metal and he wanted us to gather it up, what a change of pace eh? I received the "go to hell" email less than two hours after I left the bank, how did I make it so far so easily and then just get blown off? I spent a good amount of money getting ready and missing time from work that is unpaid for all these interviews too, pig. Oh well, keep looking I suppose. That change and that day just dropped the last shred of hope that I had though, I left work and told a couple people not to look for me and grabbed a case and a couple packs of smokes, went to my office (basement), turned my phone off, and did some work (got fucked up). Turned my phone back on after a few hours to vent to a couple people and saw 12 calls, 5 voice mails, and 10 texts from my bands pissed cause they couldn't get a hold of me. Ignored them all and called a buddy who let me bitch for a bit, but after 45 min of me yelling at him, pretending he was everyone I was pissed at he got sick of it and had to go, hahaha!

By about midnight or so, I was pretty worn out, and not so much pissed as much as just defeated. Wednesday was a little better, just completely apathetic about everything, I realized I am so stressed about money, work, bills, broads, bands, and everything else, that I get no enjoyment out of anything anymore, not even the stuff I normally love, music and booze, and friends. Everything seems to be an exercise in futility. Today is Thursday and I am a little better, just more bummed, but hoping I can keep looking for a new job, sick of construction, but no one in an office or anything wants to take a chance on a stupid construction worker who is x military. A couple people expressed genuine concern, a few pretended to care until they realized I wasn't dead, and then back to the same old shit once I was found to be ok enough to be of use to them.

Why does it seem that everyone has a hidden agenda? Are there no real friends anymore that would do something for the sake that they aren't an asshole? There are a few of you excluded from this and you know who you are, but for the most part it seems more of a friendship of usefulness, once they can't get anything out of you they stop wanting to hang out. Whatever, you will be weeded out and dealt with accordingly.

I do have a good story from the weekend... Saturday I went out for the first time in quite a while, didn't have much cash so I started at the practice space with a friend and we started drinking... hard. 2 hours later we went back to his place to get ready to leave and his mom did a few shots of brandy with me. I am currently at 12 beers and two glasses of brandy, lol. We hit the bar with another acquaintance. Come to find out, he wants to nail some chick who is a friend of mine, hadn't known before that, and he was pissed. Threw a bunch of shit at me and told me some nasty shit about the situation and got me kind of worked up, we left for another bar and then this scumbag ditches me in the middle of the city. I don't venture into downtown Buffalo often, don't know my way around too well, especially drunk and at night. My friend was apparently still at the bar and didn't know what had happened. I wandered around for an hour in the freezing cold and finally collapsed in a hotel lobby, was told to leave and flipped a dude off then started puking and passed out. Woken up by a cop some 30-60 minutes later who asked what the fuck I was doing there, I told him I didn't know, didn't know where I was because I am new to the city, was ditched by a "buddy" and was fucked up. Then my friend texted me and asked where the hell I was and why I had been gone for over an hour, (convenient timing I think, but maybe I am too paranoid...) so I told the cop what bar he was at and that he was my ride and instead of going to jail, I get a ride back to the bar and a piece of fucking gum! Tell me I don't have people skills, I dare you... Went back into the bar and continued to drink because I am that smart. I find out yesterday that the reason I still had the 25 in my wallet was because I used my card a couple times, though I suspect that the one dude had my wallet and when he handed me "his" card to buy me a drink cause he's a nice guy, he was fucking me dry. I never use my card, especially if I have money, apparently I was nice enough to buy slices after the bar closed as well... you motherfucking waste of sperm. Safe to say if I see that one fucktard again, I am probably going to shove a railroad spike straight down his fucking piss hole and chop off a couple of his fucking fingers. I may not extract my revenge from him, haven't decided yet, but if I do, stand the fuck by...

On a lighter not, the cover band played a couple weeks ago and we ended up with our first review! It was glowing, but it was on craigslist... what the hell? The dude loved us and said to check us out whenever we play and that we are a lot of fun. We were fucked up, and we did have fun, our cover band is more about good times and fun than anything else, we play 90's grunge and we are all pretty good musicians so we can play those easy tunes and fuck with each other while hammered:) Zazz Blammymatazz, my cover band, is a load of fun, the stress isn't there like in DisplaceD, we don't have a record label breathing down our necks to hurry and finish our new album so we can tour again.

Speaking of my metal band, to anyone in the area, 26 Dec we are playing a big show at a newly revamped and re-themed (insert proper word there) metal bar called Broadway Joe's. New sound system and stuff, we are doing a signed guitar raffle and have a couple of other cool bands opening for us. We also hired the best light guy in the tri-state area to put the icing on the cake for the show. It will be a blast if your in town, let me know, there are a couple spots on the guest list available and I am single so don't have anyone on there yet. We are also playing in Erie, PA on Friday, 1 January, supposed to be another great show so feel free to stop on in to either and have a beer with us! www.myspace.com/displaced We have one or two brand new songs we will be playing that will be on the new album coming out sometime in 2010.

More randomness, no good segue's left just some random notes I made over the last week or so I want to touch on. You cat's know I hate dealing with religion and politics here, however it is worth mentioning that the gay marriage thingy was shot down in New York. People are so scared of something and I don't get it, who the shit cares if they get married? For all those people like Jabba the Rush who complain about the sanctity of marriage, mother fucker, your on your fourth one, you fat, drug riddled, stupid piece of shit. You'll be rotting in hell, if it exists, before anyone else. While we are touching on fat people, sometimes I wish I was a fat fuck, then I could wear shorts all winter long and not be cold. I get a huge kick out of seeing these folks when it is below freezing out and they are waddling around in shorts like it's 30 years in the future and global warming has eradicated winter and the coastline. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm glad I'm not fat, not like I am the most in shape person, but I at least take moderate care of myself because I am not lazy. Granted, there are about 3% of people who are over weight who are actually medically buggared, but the rest are just lazy. If your offended, I don't care, probably means your one of them, I set my mind to it and lost weight when I started getting a gut a few years ago, if I can get something accomplished for my absent minded, easily distracted self, anyone can.

A couple of weeks ago at open mic, this kid came up to me when I ventured outside for a smoke and stared free-styling for about 4 minutes straight right in my face, anyone else ever have this happen? I wanted to cut his tongue out with my beer bottle, fuck I hate those people. If I wanted to hear shitty poetry and you brag about how great you think you are, how bad you are, and how much your lying about your ability to please skanky crackhead women and how big you want me to believe your prick is, I would go to a hip hop joint, not a fucking hard rock/metal bar for a musical open mic. I especially hate people who deliberately try to fake accents or ways of speaking that are completely unnatural and it is glaringly obvious. Although I thought of something that made me laugh along the lines of accents... If you say the phrase "thrill of the hunt" with that throaty middle eastern/Israeli thing that I can't do but sounds like hacking up a loogey, the last word sounds delightfully filthy and makes me giggle:) Yes I am that easily amused, sorry to those of you who thought I was a deep person, hahaha! I also am still getting the biggest kick out of facebook now that I switched the language to have my whole page in Pirate. It's in your language options on the bottom left on the home/news page. Go into the English part and look for Pirate, it is funny as shit.

Last note, my friend Red has launched a new blog about traveling and stuff and it is def worth a read, the link is http://www.cacdicedoestheworld.com

Hope everyone has a good rest of the week and weekend, I am skipping town for the weekend to a place with little to no reception and no interweb to chill out for a bit. Be safe, have fun, and come back with good stories!

Cheers and stay warm,

Kris