The last 24 hours... it's a long one, sorry

Murphy's Law is in full effect. Def going to sip a beer tonight, actually I'll go get one now, pop a tune in and I'll be back in a few.



Ah, Miller low life, the piss water of beer, but cheap and on the last one then the Molson's will be cold! So, lets set the mood for this evening, it's 2042, I just had dinner, worked all day in an oven of a room in 100 degree heat and a fuck ton of humidity, had a massive headache all day, couldn't go to open mic tonight, and forgot to bring my Oreo's to work. I haven't even had time to shower yet and now that everyone else is back at the piece they are all showering and I have to wait and stew in my room with a case of the batwings going on. For the faint of heart skip to the next paragraph, for I am to explain batwings for those who don't habla. Having the batwings is when your balls stick to your legs due to heat and sweat, so you have to bow your legs out and bend at the knees or lift one leg straight out to the side to feel them peel off of your leg, doesn't matter which one or both you shave, (legs/sack) or if you use powder, if you wear boxers, it will happen. I wonder if there is a chick version of this....


Ok, this started on Sunday I guess, a friend of mine needs a new gas tank installed on her car, my roommates who are alot more car savvy than I agree to do said task for a bottle of vodka to get us through the job, should only be a two hour deal, a nice sunday afternoon we think. About 4 hours into it, we find some other parts that need replacing, can't get them because the commie fucks at the parts store closed early. They go Monday cause I'm the only one who had to work and get the parts and keep messing with it. We find out around 8pm that a couple nuts are stripped and once again the store is closed, goddamned hippies. Friend takes me to the market for groceries in my car since she is taking it home so she can get to work Tuesday and I can get a ride in to work from another bud of mine.
At the store I am looking for cheap shit for lunches, I hate spending money on food, especially for work. I have been eating tuna packets for about 2 years or so now because they are a buck a piece and no preperation needed, toss in a piece or two if fruit, some hippie crackers or something and my two water bottles, and Kris is a happy little fucker at work as long as he gets coffee and smokes. I see these frozen pbj sandwhiches (referred to after as sammiges:) ) for 5 bones, 10 in a box. Jackpot, all the fun of a sammige without having to make it. The best part? No crust!! I just saved a buck a week, not a big deal, but another point scored against the man. I usually have a bagel with cheese for breakfast, quick and cheap and I can eat it on the way and wash it down with a pot of coffee. I see some more frozen shit, bagels shaped like breadsticks with the shit already in them! What could possibly go wrong?, I ask myself. Every goddamned, communist, butt loving one of them has fucking cream cheese in it. I hate cream cheese, I would rather nail my dick to a burning building than eat cream cheese, I was extremely disheartened by finding out they all had cream cheese. Si I buy regular bagels and still have american cheese so I can toast my bagel then put the slice of cheese on each half and let it melt down and I'm a happy little fucker.
I get home, cook some chicken tits on the grill, eat and go to bed, I even found some kind of hippie coffee from Foldgers in a silver bag that has caramel in it, and it's 2 beans cheaper than the Seatle's (or however the hell you spell it,) Best coffee, which I dig, but I'm cool with saving two bucks on coffee. I get up, go to work today, the nuts that were stripped on the gas tank will be at the house by the time I get home from work and I can help my roommate finish up, cause he's the cat that knows whats going on, I'm helping and learning at this point. I spend all day in the oven working with a headache and finally get home, take a handful of asprin and pay down since I beat my roommates home. They get home and we head out to the garage, 20 min and we're done. The posts that the nuts screw onto are stripped as well... after a 20 min session of cursing the car gods and this god forsaken car, we go buy a tap and dye set and re-thread the bolts. Everything sails back together after that, after the whore that the bolts gave us, they were in a real tight spot. We gas the pig up and start it, the fucking fuel pump burst a line, can;t patch it since it's a pressureized line. We knew you should replace the pump if your doing the tank, but chick didn't have the loot and told us not to. Now she has to and I am going to have to front her most of the money for the pump. Oh, and a side note, watching the science channel, just heard that some star in Saggitarius will blow soon, and if it blows up as a gamma ray burst, we're fucked. So tomorrow we're going to get the part, maybe we can finish this shit mess then.
On top of this, I miss a Tuesday night at the bar for open mic, about the only chance the cover band gets to practice and jam with the metal band writing a new album, getting ready for a show, and hoping to go on tour this fall. The coverband thinks I'm ditching out until I tell them to drag their happy asses over and help us and then they stop responding, fucking pigs. I am without my car until probably thursday now, since my roommates go to bed around 2100 since they get up at 0345 fir work in th morning and work 10-12 hour days. I get home at 1600 so that leaves up only a couple hours to work on the car each day, I hate this fucking car, if you own a 92 Plymouth Acclaim, go fucking kill yourself and burn the car because you are not a nice person and your mechanic probably hates you and you probably are the type of person who doesn't give out christmas cards.
On a lighter note, this blogging thig is fun and I am meeting other bloggers who are all very nice, and some even think that I don't suck at this. If you are one of these cats, show it to anyone who like a good laugh, I try to get a chuckle out of people with my rants and would like to be good at this writing jive, so feedback is always welcome.
I would do a rant on pecker pills, but it's been so overdone it's just annoying and who wouldn't party their ass off if they had a hard on for hours on end, we all get it it's not funny anymore. I'm working on enough material for my rant on marketing people, oooh how I hate those fucking maggots, worse than the religious fanatics who use fear and guilt to scare you into giving them money and not looking at midgets shagging kittens on horseback while wearing scuba suits and feathered hats. Or so I've heard, not like I would ever even think of googling that.... without a few more beers, uh, i mean ever.

Happy trails and rock on, I'll post again soon, I also write the blog for my band Displaced, it's more business oriented and all that jazz, but if you get bored check it out, www.myspace.com/DisplaceD

Yours from the bat cave,
Kris