Ok, I know it has been a while since I have seen you fuckers and I miss you. I can make excuses and shit, but who really cares? Hopefully some of you will have not forgotten how we survived Nam and the Red Scare together and will lend an ear to an old cohort. This will probably be long as shit and pretty random, I may try to break this up into parts, depending on how much energy (beer) I have tonight. I will attempt not to go off on tangents too bad, but thats why I may break it up into a couple parts, still not sure how long one of these things is supposed to be... any input anyone?
Ok, first and foremost, the market was having a sale on girlfriends, so I picked on up that was last years model, saved a bundle, though she is a little broken, my kind of kid, by last years model I mean we met last year so put the pitchforks down. By broken I mean her butt, in case someone who reads this knows her I won't say what it is, but safe to say, no butt humpin for me. Not that that bothers me, never really cared one way or the other about it, know some dudes that won't shag a broad unless they can drop a load in her ass, not a big deal to me, the other side smells better and is more fun. The end result of this is that there will be no more drunken debauchery stories involving random chicks, there should still be some drunken escapades though, there have been a couple, but havent had the drive or income to do much lately, more on that later. So this chick is ok, we get along pretty good and I dig her. Not sure what else to say about her, she puts up with me and my shit, and her shit isn't too bad so far.
SIDE NOTE - If one mother fucker tells me that this doesn't make sense cause this ended up going into more than one part and they read the wrong part first, I will by the grace of some god hunt you down...
I finally have health insurance, I found out I am still eligible to get some benefits from the VA (Veterans Administration) and though my 5 yrs of free jive has ended, I still am poor enough to get stuff for free this year. Next year I will have to submit my income and see if I still qualify. When I bitch about being broke I mean it, the cutoff for free VA care was somewhere around 29k, I missed it by a good clip, partially due to being on un-enjoyment for 5 months, partly cause I have a shitty job that doesn't pay dick. Anyway, I went in and started running the line of doctors, and for some god forsaken reason, I was being honest with them, mistake number 1. Mistake number 1 came with what I am going to call my overlord of the VA, as far as I figure, it is her job to keep tabs on me and make sure I don't get fucked over too badly, show up to my appointments, and have someone to talk to whenever I need it. (m,w,f,9-4 if available...)
This was on my initial visit and working on background and all that jive. We were talking about sleep and my issues with it, mainly that I don't do it often or well except for the last two months, and thats all I have any inclination to do, even if I don't sleep, I just lay in bed all day unless I have to work or the boss (gf) drags me out of the house and makes me shave and go buy food. So this dame asks me about my sleep and I tell her a little about it and that I can only fall asleep sober in one specific position. She asks me what I mean by falling asleep sober. I almost walk the fuck out and even refrain from telling her that it obviously means when I am not drunk you stupid twat. Didn't think that would get me very far so I said it means exactly what it sounds like, when I am wrecked I can sleep anywhere and anyway, sober, not so much.
After the lecture on R.E.M. sleep and why I am an asshole, she recommends the behavioral science social worker, fuck me, now they think I am crazy, possibly with PTSD and now I have to deal with this shit and people asking me about why I drink so much and am so irritable and pissed off and anti social and sensitive to light and all that crap. I get the smoking lecture as well, and the high blood pressure lecture from the nurse too.
A couple weeks later I go to the social worker, in under 30 minutes this one pegs me with severe anxiety, depression, and obsessive compulsive disorder along with a drinking and tobacco problem. Wow... now I am left to wonder and overanalyze everything I think and do. Am I making an accuse and blaming it on that shit, or am I really some mutant freak? Although since about November, I have been on a pretty steady decline. I see the first real shrink on the 15th of this month, so we shall see. This past week/weekend was one of the worst. I wasn't in a bad mood per se, but I just didn't give a third of a shit about any possible thing in the world. Wish the misses wasn't around to see it, but she got a good helping of it and I felt bad for that. She knew something was up because I wasn't my usual chipper self... She asked what was wrong and I told her I just didn't care about anything at the moment and there was nothing that could make me feel anything for or about anything at that moment. The poor thing thought it was her or her fault so I was worried about that but she even went as far as to say "Well I bet if I blew you right now you would give a fuck." (She always knows just what to say:)) I just shrugged and looked at her and said " yeah I probably would tell you not to waste your time, I just don't care babe, nothing personal and I can't stress that enough, however, I am just that apathetic right now". Instead of calling me a fuck and leaving and gong to get some dick from someone who isn't a prick, she stayed, got bombed with me, didn't talk much, let me win a game of pool, and watched a bunch of weird al videos on youtube and most of Christopher Titus, Norman Rockwell is Bleeding, also on youtube. Couldn't ask for hardly any better of a broad. She didn't make it all through Titus though, fucker. You guys have to check that out, if you haven't, go to youtube and type in that title, it is 9 parts, and one of the best stand up video's ever. Maybe I do need to yak at some witch doctor (shrink) for an hour or so to figure something out, but I thought I was doing ok enough getting plowed and sleeping as much as possible.
Got stuck on the highway on the way to work Friday, 2 hours and 10 minutes without moving cause some dumb southern trucker doesn't realize you can't drive 75 in ice and slush and jack knifed his semi, the pic below is two of my buds from work who were stuck about half a mile behind me. The real bitch of it aside from losing time off the clock? The first tow truck on the way to save the day broke the fuck down... are you fucking kidding me?! Part two to follow... not editing, so forgive grammatical and spelling errors, I am in a hurry and have a lot to talk about, getting much more random from here on out...
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